I'm a doctor: what's your appendix doing tonight? I'd love to take it out.
Very funny. You should be on the television then I could turn you off.

I'm a magician. Would you like me to perform a spell for you?
OK, can you make yourself disappear?

I'm a meteorologist, and I'd like to study your warm front. Let's go to an isobar and have a drink.
No thanks - I've seen the forecast. Damp in parts, hot and sticky with rising cumulonimbus. I think I'll stay at home.

I'm a musician. I'm famous for what I can do with my little piccolo.
That's nice. Did you say you were a musician as well?

I'm a photographer for a model agency: I've been looking for a face like yours.
I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

I'm a postman, so you can rely on me to deliver a large package.
Sorry, but I need someone who comes more than once a day.

I'm considering chucking my girlfriend for you. How do you feel about that?
But I don't want your girlfriend.

I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm hairy, I'm smelly, and I fart like a wind tunnel. But I'm bloody rich.
I don't want you thinking I'm just after your money, darling. What's your name?

I'm trying to break the world kissing record for snogging the most beautiful women in one evening. Can I kiss you?
Yes, but only because I'm trying to snog as many ugly men as possible tonight, and you would be worth double points.