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Stupid
but Funny Text Messages
This message
was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful.
We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are
truly sorry for the inconvenience
I asked an
angel 2 watch over u, but he back sooner than xpected!i
asked y?He said "an angel doesnt need 2 watch over
an angel!"
What's the
difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is
thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too
much.
I opened my
purse and found it empty.i reached in 2 my pocket and
found a few coins then i searched my heart and found
u!dats wen i realised how rich i am
Some say the
glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I
say " are you gonna drink that?"
Maturity is
knowing when and where to be immature
All of my
friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!
if barbie is
so popular....then y do u have 2 buy her friends?
I intend to
live forever- so far so good
Iv got 2 sit
down & work out where i stand!!!
Wen u smile
the world smiles with u.wen ur down people will rally
behind u.but wen u fart u r alone coz people will never
stand by u!
Im a
nobody.. nobodys perfect.. therefore IM PERFECT!!!
I didnt kiss
ur boyfriend! I told his lips a secret!!
I would stop
eating chocolate.. but I'm not a quitter!
uv been
called b4 cupids court 4 stealin my heart.trespassin in
my dreams & robin me of my senses.uv been sentened 2
a lifetime wiv me- how do u plead?
1st time i
saw u i was scared 2 touch u.1st time i touched u i was
scared 2 kiss u.1st time i kiss u i was scared to luv
u.but now dat i luv u im scared 2 lose u!
To live dis
life i need a heartbeat.to have a heartbeat i need a
heart.to have heart i need happiness.to have happiness i
need u!
i asked God
4 a rose & he gave me a garden.i ask God 4 a drop of
water & he gave me an ocean.i asked God 4 an angel
&he gave me u!
Why do birds
fall from da sky everytime u walk by? why do stars fall
from da sky? cause like me they want 2 b near u!
One day u'll
ask me: "whats more important to u- me or ur
life?" ill say "my life" and u'll go and
leave without even knowing that u are my life.
I wanted to
send u something nice that would make u smile but the
postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
Ur cute
gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur
good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong
number 4get wot I said!
I saw
sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy
cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u
till i realised it was my own REFLECTION
Those
innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile...
The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely
gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?
You’re
Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming
Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you’re
becoming more like me everyday!
Uve got sex
appeal.uve got style.uve got intelligence.uve got
class.uve got the face & uve got the body & ive
got the wrong number!
Ure so sexy
u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in
pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh fuck im sorry
i have the wrong number
Kung
akala mo importante ka sa akin, kung akala mo may tiwala
ako sayo, kung akalamo namimiss kita at kung akala mo
friend kita…Korek ka dyan!
Some people choose friends who are thoughtful n caring.
Some prefer those who r smart n good looking. When u
choose me, pinakyaw mo na lahat.
(In Filipino) Nagbago ka na! Mayabang ka na talaga! Di
na kita maabot! Mataas na lipad mo! Tumawag ako kanina,
ang sabi ng sumagot... 'the subscriber CANNOT BE RICH!'
U'll never know who ur friends are… till u stumble n
fall. And till u feel his hands on your shoulder as he
says, "yan tatanga-tanga kasi".
From the
moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur
smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and
loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!
He came 2 me
1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed
& had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was
hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO
U picked me
up.u took me home.u put ur hands around my waist.u took
off my top den u put ur lips om mine.THANK GOD im a
bottle of PEPSI.
Someday u
may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money &
even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur
good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!
I had a wet
dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing
when you fell of a cliff!
i shall seek
and find you.i shall take u to bed & control u.i
will make u ache shake sweat until u grunt and groan.all
my love, the flu X
Whats rough
and hairy on the outside and soft and wet in the inside
starts with C ends in T and has a U & a N in it?
.... Answer - a coconut u pervert.
What is 10
inches long- 2inches thick and starts with a p??? A
really good crap
It goes in
dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it
gets.we can have it in bed just you and me...its not
what you think its a cup of tea!
Last nite i
wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i
wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i
couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!
At 1st a
little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck &
munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick!
CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?
Tell me.is
it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its
hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh
yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
Last nite i
coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on
me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find
u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?
I luv the
way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy
foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down,
can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
come
here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me
until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!
I luv u- I
luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to
me nighty.Dont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on
the clothesline and not in my bed
Wen i look
at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look
at the sea I c u... well get the f... out my way!
If I could be any letter in the alphabet, I'd choose
"V" so I can be next to "U"; if you
could be any note, I wished you're "RE" so
your always beside "ME"!
If you save this message, it means cute ako. If you edit
it, cute pa rin ako. If you delete it, naiinggit ka kasi
cute ako. Pero kung ipoforward mo, pinagkakalat mong
cute ako.
50 years from now, tanda na ko nun! Di na cute, wala ng
appeal, uugud-ugod, nguya nganga, dala baston, ihi sa
salawal, ala ngipin. Pero pag uso pa ang text, iti text
pa rin kita.
Others say life is unfair. Well, it's true. Others are
jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know
why? Hmmm… coz you have a cute txtm8 like me.
Waking up in a brand new day is already a miracle. What
more is to receive a "gud morning" txt from a
cute person like me"? Ang suwerte mo!
Pray that God grant you a mind free from worry, a heart
free from sadness, a soul free from sin and a body free
from unwanted odor. Naligo ka na ba?
Bakit exciting ang text? 1. kc pwedeng magpacute and
pangit. 2. pwedeng single ang married 3. sa txt bida ang
sinungaling 4. sa text bistado ang kuripot.
People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect
ones, the gorgeous ones, the smart ones, the sweet ones.
Lagi na lang ako! Ako! Ako!
Our frndship means alot 2 me, dat if we wer d last
people on a sinking ship & der s only 1 lyf vest,
i'll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I'm gonna mis u 4 sure..!
You're the reason why I have sleepless nights, you are
the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight, I'm
thinking of you when I lay down at night, you are the
reason why I shout "mommy may mumo!"
Kisses blown are kisses wasted. Kisses aren't kisses
unless they are tasted. Kisses spread germs and germs
are hated. So kiss me baby, I'm vaccinated!
Love is not about the melody of violins, it's about the
squeaking of bed springs.
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but
socially dead.
I looked at d sky, d sky is beautiful. I looked at
you…..I looked at d sky na lang ulit. Gud A.M.
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum. A kiss ain't a
kiss without some tongue. So open your mouth and close
your eyes, and give your tongue some exercise!
A friend is: 1% funny 2% sweet 3% caring 4% loving 90%
goodlooking.... Kaya nga friend mo ako e!
How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she
has a poor memory. Second - umn … I forgot na!
Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
You made me smile a thousand times. You filled my heart
with joy and happiness. You colored my days with
laughter, well you must be a.......... CLOWN!
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